notes

A brief response:

I was not clear when I wrote "tolerably anhedonic." My meaning was, as you expressed it, that you "do not experience pleasure as intensely as others." Which is to say, there is a lower ceiling on your experience of pleasure than there is for most people. This is, to quote you again (in accord with your meaning, I hope) the "dumb luck" that keeps you from the "further horror of a harsh 'fall to earth.'"

TL
 
Last night, I finished reading CATHR for the second time. The first time through, I was coming out of a period of serious depression, easily the worst I've ever experienced (interesting to see how many people on this board have some variety of 'mental health issues'), and to be honest,not much of anything was making any sense to me. This second time though, and reading these posts, has allowed me to grasp the work a bit more thoroughly, though I believe another reading might be in order. Especially useful is the difference between the cerebral and emotive modes of thought, as this is something I've always had a hard time explaining to other people. 'Well, you enjoy ice cream, don't you, so life isn't all bad.' Yes, but I'd rather not know about ice cream, King Crimson, Arthur Machen or anything else that makes me 'happy.' In some way, these moments of happiness are as much a burden as a relief, knowing that further depressive states await. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to Mr. Ligotti and all who have posted regarding this work for allowing access to their insights and experiences. I'm thinking about passing this work along to my therapist. If she provides any kind of insight, I'll pass it along.
 
oops, this last post seems to have ended up in the wrong place...apologies to all. i'm somewhat illiterate when it comes to technology, especially computers. especially online boards, which are new to me.
 
Patrick,

Thanks for sharing your experience of reading CATHR. I actually did present a very early draft of it to my own shrink. He didn't say anything about it, and I didn't expect him to. He's a psychopharmacologist and--while he's concerned to use his knowledge for my welfare--is primarily focused on treatment by medication, as well as things like how I sit in a chair when I come in for a session, the way I speak, the dull or alert look in my eyes, and all those other tell-tales of a person's emotional state that p-docs are trained to look for. Of course, I can't say what your therapist or any other therapist would have to say about it. My imaginative scenario goes something like this: "How did reading this document make you feel?" I realize that this is no more than a stereotype, but it's hard to imagine a therapist wasting valuable time by giving his or her own views on something rather than taking a concern in how that something was perceived by a patient. If I'm wrong, it would indeed be interesting to hear an assessment of CATHR by a mental health professional. Anyway, good luck in dealing with your depression, and my added thanks for revealing this fact about yourself and how it affected your reading of CATHR.

Trival aside: among the few people who commented on CATHR before it went up on TLO, you're the second person to mention ice cream as the first among justifications for human existence. I like ice cream, too, though not as much as I like pie. And, of course, pie a al mode is not to be sneered at.

TL
 
My therapist is often interested in what I'm reading, what music I'm listening to, etc. in addition to the more predictable interests. I assume this is because music, books and art have a very important place in my life and I'm often more engaged when discussing these topics than I am when talking about my feelings.
As far as ice cream goes, it is one of the more thoroughly positive things in life. There is a place in here in Louisville that has pumpkin ice cream, and I'm pretty well convinced that pumpkin milkshakes are one of the high points of western civilization.
 
Patrick,

Now that I think about it, my doc also asks me if I've recently seen any movies I like. Or he'll ask me what I think of some current event or politician in the news. One time he asked if I'd heard anything about Barack Obama's book The Audacity of Hope. My instant reply was, "I HATE that title. It's a title only a publisher could love. It's like Dare to Be Happy or The Courage to Be Rich. I wouldn't vote for the guy based on that idiotically phony title alone." That was a relatively good day for me, or I would have just answered, "Yeah, I've heard of it" and stared at my shoes.

You're lucky to live near a place that has pumpkin ice cream and shakes. I like any food that's made from pumpkins. A friend and one-time boss at my old job used to bring in homemade ginger cookies and pumpkin dip. She also gave me her recipe for pumpkin soup. It was great and impossible to screw up.

TL
 
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