Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Once upon a time there were three rock and roll bands...

One band was from Glyphsville, Ohio. This band practiced diligently in the bassist's mother's garage. The band eventually, through practice, achieved its reward of repeated gigs at local bars and roadhouses. The band's name was The Doomsday Gomers.

The second band was from an unspellable location in Wales. This band was earthy, and its output consisted entirely of percussion (stones banged against stones) coupled with Druid chants. One album (title translated as "Rock Me, Infant") was released in 2003. The band's name was Ditflits.

The third band was from Seattle, Washington. This band continually diminished in both membership (due to death) and importance as time went on. What is the sound of one bandmember remaining? The band's name was Instibator.

Rumor has it that various members from these defunct bands are getting together and forming a new band named Happily Ever After...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Labial Lachrymosa

(with their #1 hit "Tears of Love")...bad

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

If I get someone who will get this reference, I will be floored:

Decreator, whose David Bowie-emulating lead singer wears a ceramic mask and has an obsession with the concept of remixing Vivaldi.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

My first guess seems a trite oblique, but I will go with [wiki]Buckethead[/wiki].

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Close. No cigar.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Perhaps the more obvious [wiki]Death In June[/wiki]?

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Interestingly, I'm not referencing music. But those were two very good stabs. *Snickers at perverse irony of last sentence.*

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Spotbowserfido has returned home. Before he collapsed from the effects of jet lag, I was informed of the thousands of photographs he took in various European locales. I gird myself for the interminable slide show. In the interim, I'll let sleeping dogs lie. He also plans to put together a new band named Woof and the Warped...

His Master's Voice,
Phil

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

From songs, albums, and song titles:

Paper Tigers - The Chameleons
Der Dyin Prunen, Skinny Dolly, Evil Fascist Plot Device - The Residents
Angelicide, River of Flowers, The Red Skeletons, Angie Bowie, Legion of Goats, Black Antlers, The Egyptian Aztecs, To Darken the Blood, Gold is the Metal, Ocular Window, Penetralia, Elves, ...And Sometimes..., The Edible Birds, The Herald of Free Enterprise, The Golden Hare, Silence and Secrecy - Coil
Dögun, The Mishima Yukio Fan Club, Christ and the Pale Queens, Rapeseed, More Aryan Aquarians!, Maldoror est Mort (might as well be obvious), This Empire is Nothing, Suzanne est Mort (less obvious!) - Current 93

Many more to come. Now, howsabout some in-jokes!

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

"Scuse me, while I kiss this guy..."

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

"Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask," "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow," "Dog Breath Variations," "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama" -- Frank Zappa

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Dirty Worry, a band whose only album, Vacuum Cleaner, totally sucked.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Cleave 'Em & Leave 'Em

Orificial Flavors

The Vulvoids

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Misanthrope (sounds fun)

Dying Gaul (from "high" art)

Triple Sons (obscure musical reference)

The Black Doll's Imbroglio (there's always room for Gorey)

Happy Mask (oh, joy)

Three Imaginary Boys (stealing from song titles)

The Horse Rotorvator (...and album titles)

Painful Life Experiences (necessary as ever)

The Witless Misogynists

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Javelin' Man

The Indwelt

Dirty Hurry

We Come in PC

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

The Brand New Pair o' Dimes

The New Things To Do

Mind the Unkind

Primal Pie

A friend of mine has a solo music act called "Adolf Hitler and his 6 million orchestra", I kid you not.

I don't know, I would name it maybe something spacey, like "Blue Shift" or "VLA" ("Very Large Array") like the interconnected radio telescope grid in New Mexico... I have always liked that, naming things after military or scientific installations or projects, like Peter Andersson's "Atomine Elektrine", named after a defunct Nuclear Plant somewhere in Sweden, or Brian Williams' (Lüstmord) side project "Arecibo", after the one large radio telescope in Puerto Rico.

Two of my personal favorites, coined by a friend:

Bob Cratchit and the Bookkeepers
Bullets for Yoko

And if I ever had a psych band, I'd name it "The Pyramid & I."

I thought of the band name MENTAL PROLAPSE the other day, but I found out there was already a band by the same name.

####ers

maybe I'll use it for a collection of stories somewhere down the line

Birthshadow

Dirty Daylight

Fortunate Torture

Slapshadow

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Mexican Death Cult - More intellectual than for shock value (there really are such things).

Sea is Violet - Song reference.

Nude Descending a Staircase - Oh, come on, it had to happen eventually...

Crowd Control - Would have to be in the vein of Throbbing Gristle, though, or a pop band...

Remnants of Burnt Icons - Well...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

I can see the headline for a Crowd Control article now:

"Crowd Control Unable to Keep Control of Crowd"

and all the various permutations of that headline

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

You know, I've always had the depraved idea that if I led a band, if the crowd got too rowdy, I'd lock them in the venue and play a lengthy version of "Discipline" until they were either quiet or nearly destroyed something....

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Wouldn't work -- they'd only start inta screamin' for "21st Century Schizoid Man"!

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

"Mental Prolapse"... at first, I read that as "Metal Prolapse" and thought it might be the Bizarro World version of the Folk Implosion....

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Why not oblige them... then segue straight into "L.A. Blues" *winks, smiles evilly*.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

I already have a band, Woof and the Warped. I like to think of our specialty as a latter day grunge or dark garage rock. When things are right and the band is tight, we actually verge on something which might be considered as dark ambient parking ramp - psychedelia sprinkled with polka, flamenco, and other ethnic flavors.

Lately, the band's welfare concerns me. We are currently saddled with a vocalist in the vein of David Lee Roth or Billy Idol. This hot dog can't seem to get the words right, no matter how hard he tries. And many inhuman sounds often carry his work along, if you know what I mean. I am gravely worried about our drummer's future. He is a profoundly talented soul who has recently been dabbling way too much with dogbane, nachtschatten, and absinthe. Potent ingredients in a recipe for disaster, I assure you. The days of Woof and the Warped are certainly numbered, therefore...

If I had a new band, I'd name it The Caniculans.

Bang the Drum Slowly,
Rover

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Hey, what's up with this news?

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...y_7_band_names

It sounds like a rock 'n' roll riff on "The Nine Billion Names of God" by Arthur C. Clarke. When The Stars Wink Out is probably already taken. I'd bet everything that there is a secret room full of monkeys somewhere constantly typing out Shakespeare, too...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

I'm now actually in a band. No name yet, but among the names I've thought up insofar these stick out:

- The Iotacists
- Sylvan Screen
- Dream Police
- Generic

An iotacist is someone who is entirely self-absorbed (hence using "I" a lot). "Sylvan Screen" is a fine song by the Olivia Tremor Control, an obscure neo-psychedelic pop group, about watching your neighbours like ants from your window. I found myself contemplating the third phrase around 3:00 AM, although why I know not; I think it was a mental mix-up with "thought police", but considering the suggestions the term makes it is at least as unnerving an idea. The fourth, well...

I should note that I am the "arty" member. When suggesting cover ideas, the first three that came to mind were "Sister Ray", "Roman P.", and "Death Disco".

Apropos of Clarke: Finally someone mentioned that story on this forum! Has a great weird cosmic element to it that really is pretty horrific.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

I saw a guy in a t-shirt with what was probably a band name on it, and I thought it was an excellent one: "The Weakerthans."

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

TSO, "Dream Police" was a hit song for Cheap Trick many years ago. They say that great minds think alike...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Damned hit-makers! I knew in my subconscious state that someone had come up with that name before... But on the same token, is any thought original?

I think one of the better ones I came up with was Kllosar, which from I think Albanian loosely translates to "loser". Speaking of which, it's unbelievably fun to say the name Enver Hoxha. Unpleasant fellow, but...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Hey, I wondered that first! ;)

(It simplifies things... sort of... if you believe all consciousness is interconnected. Truly, there is nothing new under the sun.)

"The Weakerthans" is a good band name, and I haven't heard their music, but their fanbase appears to consist largely of wankers!

That Onion article is great, too. Ever since the plague of new rock bands with "The" names a few years ago (not to mention emo/hardcore bands, which always have the worst names,) a friend and I have a joke about running out of band names and having to reset all of them. Maybe we need an official decree from the Department of Band Names (a little-known part of our new homeland security dept....)

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Please explain "wankers." No, you 'splain it, man...I ain't a-gonna look in the dickshunary. ;)


"A Silver Mt. Zion." I'm listening to them right now, and I always worry some anti-Israeli dude/dudette is gonna jump down my throat if I speaketh the name...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Well, I'm actually in two bands and I like the names of both:

Violets Dyed (from Joyce's Finnegans Wake)
Collusion of Souls

alec...

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Wankers in the indie/emo kid sense... wannabe punk rockers with English BA's, etc. Not that everyone who I'm painting with that stroke is by any means bad, of course. I'm not too different, myself. :rolleyes:

Doesn't A Silver Mt. Zion have a song with the refrain, "Musicians are cowards?" I like the sentiment.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

Would you believe I still don't know what emo is?
I don't know if they have that lyric, maybe they do. I mainly get into the music, and the vocals regardless of the words. Thanks.

Re: If I Had a Band, I'd Name It...
 

I always thought of emo as kind of a radioheady whininess with lugubrious ponderous pretentious music behind it. I believe (my knowledge is weak as well) that Dashboard Confessional is the epitome of emo-y goodness.

Sorta goth-lite from what I understand.

alec...