Lyrics I Loathe

Spotbowserfido2

Spotbowserfido2

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As an adjunct to Bands I Loathe, I propose a thread dedicated to words that make you squirm as you pull your teeth out - just prior to the insertion of knitting needles into your ear canals. First up is "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner. The song's thesis is evident after ten seconds, but minutes of moronic rhyming lines follow. Only the excruciatingly painful vocals of Lou Gramm could properly augment this masterpiece of merde.

HOT BLOODED

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show

Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew

That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?

Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot

Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing
 
In the same vein:

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Not as inventive as Hot Blooded, but I have seldom heard a song I loathed as much as this one by so-called 'Color me Badd'.
 
Anything by Boney M. For example, from 'Rasputin':

"Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher woman would desire.

Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia's greatest love-machine...."

Hmm.
 
Truly my highschool days were what drove me away from whatever new shit came out that was popular enough to get on small town radio or MTV.

Lyrics as well as song structures being near simian in their simple minded atrociousness.

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Why?

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Why?

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Why?

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Why?

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Why?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o-i1exXUO0

Why? Am I terrifying anyone yet? Anyone who grows up surrounded by this should be afraid, so color me afraid.

Old 'Cure', The Swans, Khanate, Shining, Leonard Cohen, and what-have-you- well, none of this is really sad music. What I youtubed above is probably the reason why they would never play contemporary radio music in mental institutions- for fear of mass suicide.
 
Spotbowserfido2 said:
As an adjunct to Bands I Loathe, I propose a thread dedicated to words that make you squirm as you pull your teeth out - just prior to the insertion of knitting needles into your ear canals. First up is "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner. The song's thesis is evident after ten seconds, but minutes of moronic rhyming lines follow. Only the excruciatingly painful vocals of Lou Gramm could properly augment this masterpiece of merde.

HOT BLOODED

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show

Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew

That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?

Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot

Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing
Click to expand...

I remember hearing that song when I was younger and thinking, "My gods, that is the worst use of language I have ever heard. Someone please gauge out my eyes and I also had the knitting needles in the ears sensation. "Let the bodies fall to the floor." is also appalling, not in a good way. This is why I like Bach.
 
Julian Karswell said:
Anything by Boney M. For example, from 'Rasputin':

"Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher woman would desire.

Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia's greatest love-machine...."

Hmm.
Click to expand...

No! No! Surely these are some of the greatest lyrics ever!

Particularly that first couplet. It's a killer.
 
qcrisp said:
Julian Karswell said:
Anything by Boney M. For example, from 'Rasputin':

"Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher woman would desire.

Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia's greatest love-machine...."

Hmm.
Click to expand...

No! No! Surely these are some of the greatest lyrics ever!

Particularly that first couplet. It's a killer.
Click to expand...

Although it's tempting to move on to The Most Inappropriate Song Lyrics Ever (your reference to 'killer' made me think of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls"), I have to say nay, neigh and thrice nay!

These are the best opening lyrics ever:

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[I know it's wrong but I love that song!]
 
Oh, what the frick, I'm gonna post it anyway:

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[The new BFS theme tune?]
 
Bruce Springsteen's songs "Blinded by the Light" and "Born to Run" feature some silly lyrics. As a true offender, I select "For You" as being representative of Mr. Springsteen's overwrought lyrics. Oddly, Manfred Mann's Earth Band decided to cover these three songs.


FOR YOU by Bruce Springsteen

Princess cards she sends me with her regards
barroom eyes shine vacancy, to see her you gotta look hard
Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her Cheshire smile. I'll stand on file, she's all I ever wanted.
But you let your blue walls get in the way of these facts
honey, get your carpetbaggers off my back
you wouldn't even give me time to cover my tracks.
You said, "Here's your mirror and your ball and jacks".
But they're not what I came for, and I'm sure you see that too
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long emergency
and your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free

Crawl into my ambulance, your pulse is getting weak
reveal yourself all now to me girl while you've got the strength to speak
Cause they're waiting for you at Bellevue with their oxygen masks
But I could give it all to you now if only you could ask.
And don't call for your surgeon even he says it's too late
It's not your lungs this time, it's your heart that holds your fate
Don't give me money, honey, I don't want it back
you and your pony face and your union jack
well take your local joker and teach him how to act
I swear I was never that way even when I really cracked
Didn't you think I knew that you were born with the power of a locomotive
able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?
And your Chelsea suicide with no apparent motive
you could laugh and cry in a single sound.

And your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds
Remember how I kept you waiting when it was my turn to be the god?

You were not quite half so proud when I found you broken on the beach
Remember how I poured salt on your tongue and hung just out of reach
And the band they played the homecoming theme as I caressed your cheek
That ragged, jagged melody she still clings to me like a leech.
But that medal you wore on your chest always got in the way
like a little girl with a trophy so soft to buy her way
We were both hitchhikers but you had your ear tuned to the roar
of some metal-tempered engine on an alien, distant shore
So you, left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
and it's not that nursery mouth I came back for
It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor
cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?
And you should know that's true...
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long emergency
and your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free
 
Last edited:
This'll make fellow Brits cringe, including as it does Cherie Blair singing a Beatles song:

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[It's a montage created by Steve Coogan & Henry Normal's production company.]
 
Julian Karswell said:
Although it's tempting to move on to The Most Inappropriate Song Lyrics Ever (your reference to 'killer' made me think of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls"), I have to say nay, neigh and thrice nay!

These are the best opening lyrics ever:

YouTube - Sarah Brightman & Hot Gossip - I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper

[I know it's wrong but I love that song!]
Click to expand...

From the song:

Tell me, Captain Strange, do you feel my devotion?
Or are you like a droid, devoid of emotion?
Click to expand...

Oh my Goooddd! That's done me the world of good.

Brings back such memories of Garth during the lazy summer holidays:

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/g/garth.htm
 
Let them eat wet cake. Oh no, indeed!


MacARTHUR Park by Jimmy Webb

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!
 
Elton John's "Rocket Man" contains the following brilliant ruminations. (I believe that Bernie Taupin, songwriter, is the one to blame -- although Elton John surely should have balked at singing lyrics this stupid.)

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

I'm particularly taken with the line "And there's no one there to raise them if you did." What could this mean? It must mean something like, "And there's no one there to raise them if you did (raise them there)." Hmm...

"And all this science I don't understand." I'll let that pass without comment because the next line is even better. "It's just my job five days a week." Can he stop being an astronaut on weekends? For his sake I hope that it's a 9 to 5 job as well.
 
gveranon said:
Elton John's "Rocket Man" contains the following brilliant ruminations. (I believe that Bernie Taupin, songwriter, is the one to blame -- although Elton John surely should have balked at singing lyrics this stupid.)

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

I'm particularly taken with the line "And there's no one there to raise them if you did." What could this mean? It must mean something like, "And there's no one there to raise them if you did (raise them there)." Hmm...

"And all this science I don't understand." I'll let that pass without comment because the next line is even better. "It's just my job five days a week." Can he stop being an astronaut on weekends? For his sake I hope that it's a 9 to 5 job as well.
Click to expand...

I must say, although I agree with you wholeheartedly, if it weren't for that song we wouldn't have this. Don't even ask me what its supposed to be.

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G. S. Carnivals said:
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!
Click to expand...

Exactly how I felt when reading those lyrics. They just kept getting worse, like an Edward Guest poem or an Ed Wood movie, but even more purely blasé than the former and infinitely less knowing and endearing than the latter...

Hallelujah, I have found proof of Azathoth in nature!

P.S. William Shatner is certainly not on this planet most weekdays, as so evidenced...
 
gveranon said:
I'm particularly taken with the line "And there's no one there to raise them if you did." What could this mean? It must mean something like, "And there's no one there to raise them if you did (raise them there)." Hmm...
Click to expand...

If it means that there are no schools, child minders or babysitters on Mars, the lyric is almost certainly correct. But a correct and a good lyric are not at all the same thing. :o
 
gveranon said:
Elton John's "Rocket Man" contains the following brilliant ruminations. (I believe that Bernie Taupin, songwriter, is the one to blame -- although Elton John surely should have balked at singing lyrics this stupid.)
Click to expand...
And to think they were ripping off this song. Pearls before swine, indeed.
 
Odalisque said:
gveranon said:
I'm particularly taken with the line "And there's no one there to raise them if you did." What could this mean? It must mean something like, "And there's no one there to raise them if you did (raise them there)." Hmm...
Click to expand...

If it means that there are no schools, child minders or babysitters on Mars, the lyric is almost certainly correct. But a correct and a good lyric are not at all the same thing. :o
Click to expand...

I understand that no one else is on Mars to help "raise your kids," but as it's written the line is self-decapitating: "if you did" raise your kids there, then it sounds stupid to say there's "no one" there to raise them. And it's awkward to end the line with "if you did" -- full stop. The line ends with a stylistic pratfall at the same time that it logically self-detonates. Words fail me. I feel that I need to raise William Empson from the dead to help explain all the ways this line is hilariously bad.

I enjoy many cheesy pop songs, including some of Elton John's ("Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters," a few others). I usually don't pay more attention to the lyrics than they deserve. It helps if the words are indistinct and buried in the mix, or if they are obviously being enunciated more for sound and suggestiveness than for literal meaning. But in "Rocket Man" Elton John puts great melodramatic emphasis on the lyrics as he sings them. Big mistake.

The verse I quoted sounds like it was being feebly improvised, line after line, by the singer. In an old SNL skit, Dana Carvey played a songwriter who makes up his words on the spot:

There's a lady I know
[pause]
If I didn't know her
[pause]
She'd be the lady I didn't know.
​
At least that makes sense logically! (Bernie Taupin, take note.) Once again satire can't hold a candle to reality.

Sadly, Dana Carvey's "Choppin' Broccoli" skit isn't available on You Tube. But here he sings the song as part of a stand-up routine:

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Yes, it is a dreadful lyric in all sorts of ways. But, as I can't think of a single Elton John song that I like, that's more or less as I'd have expected. ;)
 
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